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from here – under the water


I get in the water and when my feet are barely touching the sandy bottom, I take my bikini off. I hang it around my neck and see my nipples getting hard. Despite the 24 degrees, the water feels cold when you dip inn after lying in the sun for some time. It feels nice around my skin, my sex, my arms… it feels nice to swim naked, floating, letting go, and really letting go…

I peek at the shore and I contemplate the blanket of people there, talking, playing games, and carrying on with the entertainment the beach has to offer. The murmur becomes silence when I dip my head under the water and open my eyes and the only thing I hear is the beat of my heart.

Things are quite different under water: you see different, you hear different and, if you are smart enough, you feel different.

At least I always do.

If I ever have to find my north, or better said, if I ever have to look for my north, there is no better place for me than here. Because of how I feel about the ocean, because how the ocean feels me.

Already in the morning I got a little irritated when this new neighbor took my spot on the sand. Sure, the beach is not private, and sure everybody has the right to place their towels wherever they want, but they are non-locals and they will be here just for a month and they don’t know about rules of positioning and territory.

By tomorrow – latest after tomorrow – they will get the point.

From here things are seeing from another perspective. From here I see Mrs. A fed up with the 5 grandkids she has to take care during the weekdays because her 2 daughters work in the city. Her husband has a black belt on complaining but he never does anything to help her. Instead, he runs to the nudist beach, and everybody knows but nobody will say it loud, nevertheless, admit it.

From here you see Mrs. B putting her foot down and claiming loud that she is about to give an ultimatum to her husband, who trains a football team on her spared time and spends little time with her. She doesn’t know that is she gives the ultimatum to her husband, he will choose the dirty underwear from the football team instead of her beautiful life, but maybe she secretly knows that and she runs an invisible poll along the women to get confirmation to her doubts.

From here you see some black people walking the hot sand eagerly trying to sell fake Prada bags and pirate DVD’s, but there is nothing eager in their eyes, but hate for being under the sun hour after hour doing a crappy job, anger because we are on vacation while the only time they got to be on a boat was in one fitted for 20 and really occupied by at least 100; sadness for missing their loves ones long away in some little place in Africa.

From here you see (what was his name?) this guy on a bicycle riding really fast who yesterday flirted to annoying levels and insisted on walking me home – and who after several sarcastic comments in response, he gave up saying things a man shouldn’t say to a lady – but see how much l care.

From here you see my orange beach bag, and you see – despite the zipper is closed – a bottle of water warming up that LittleDumbass will drink anyway, a John Irving book being sadly despised and an iphone hungry for messages, calls or web updates from the love of my heart.

The sun begins to dry my skin and I feel it tingling. I lick the salt on the back of my hand and I swallow all these sensations, all these things I see from here. I dip myself again and open my eyes to see the clear sandy bottom. Things are quite different here. Here I found peace. Here, as in everywhere and every time, I think of him while I caress the back of my thighs and the nipples. They were calm a moment ago but the thought of him made them erect and hard again. In a couple of weeks it will be him, the one making not only my nipples erect, but my whole body.

Yes… here things are, and feel, different in a deep, peaceful way.

As for now, I absolutely love to be just an observer and see in my own territory – despite the sure feeling this may be, after all these years, not my territory anymore.

35 Comments Post a comment
  1. Scott #

    I love you!!!

    July 3, 2010
    • I love you too, Scott! 😀
      Welcome to the blog; I really hope you keep coming back!

      BTW, happy 4th! Mystic this year?

      July 4, 2010
  2. lookitsbray #

    Holy fuck where is this “here” you speak of.

    Now I understand the bikini sutra. Very clever.

    July 4, 2010
  3. Arthur Park #

    I’ve read your post several times, and i get the words “bikini off, nipples erect, skin, sex, naked, floating”

    – and I’m thinking of making waves.

    July 4, 2010
  4. Wow..I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a thousand more times most likely. You should write an erotic novel. WOW.
    Anyhow, that whole scene you sat up sounded very familiar….you could have easily been describing the beaches in Greece that I spent the last three years lying on. 😉

    July 4, 2010
    • he he… Thanks, Gadge!

      This paradise – despite a more modest, cozy and family-oriented than Greece – is still a paradise.. my paradise

      happy 4th, girl! :*

      July 4, 2010
  5. scott #

    The beaches of Connecicut have never been the same since you left. For that matter the entire state of Connecticut and New York need you to immediately return to set us straight.

    From the moment I met you 17 years ago when you sat down at my dinner table and told me that you announced to a stunned audience at the AuPair orientation that the British AuPairs were stuck up bitches, I finally knew what refreshing honesty looked like and hoped for a lifetime of it. No disappointment there.

    We just have to say “what the fuck” and just tell it like it is. Despite the trouble it has gotten me into, especially this year, I am happier than ever. My smile is from ear to ear for the first time in my life.

    July 4, 2010
    • HA HA HA!!! 

      A bit spiteful, Silvia is? OF COURSE!

      Scott, you have no idea how happy makes me to hear that. You people are always in my mind, my life there… You know how much CT and NY mean to me. In fact, I am considering a trip for spring break with the kids next year.

      Do we do that, I promise you we will meet, and my kids will get to know my “other” family.

      love!

      🙂

      July 4, 2010
  6. M’encanta aquest lloc. El teu lloc. El lloc que has descrit i com l’has descrit. He sentit fins i tot l’olor de la crema solar. I he escoltat el silenci del fons del mar. El teu silenci.
    Molt maco. M’ha encantat.

    Si vols traduïr aquest missatge.. el meu anglès no dóna per molt…

    July 5, 2010
    • Gràcies, Jordi. M’agrada que t’hagi agradat.

      [l love this place. Your place. The place you described as you described it. l could even smell the smell of the suncream. l heard the silence at the sea bottom. Your silence.
      This was beautiful. l was delighted.]

      July 5, 2010
  7. I always miss the ocean when it is not near. This just made me yearn for it even more. The taste of the salt, the feeling of peace when surrounded by it. Enjoy it enough for all of us, my dear.

    July 5, 2010
  8. Arthur Park #

    That is a pretty great picture you got up there.

    July 7, 2010
    • thanks, Arthur 😉

      somebody mentioned I should have more pics along the site. I pretty much agree with that now…Pics give a strong message and help the text. A little more “colorful”

      🙂

      July 7, 2010
  9. Um…totally hot picture you added!

    July 8, 2010
  10. mannandersen #

    What a sensational writer you are Silvia. I felt the nerve of your descriptions right down to the tip of my toes. It’s a compact story of the concept of summer. Filled up with desire. I’ll say it again. Sensational writing.

    July 8, 2010
    • WOW!
      mannandersen in my blog. NOW I am honored! 😉
      Many thanks

      Someone made a comment stating it was difficult to “abandon” the underwater scene and focus on the mundane scene in land.

      I think it’s the boobs, what he didn’t want to “abandon” 😉

      But it fact, it was just like that, the thoughts went in sequence. Possibly something wrong with my head, then.
      HAH!

      July 8, 2010
  11. Speechless. Ok. I’ll just say one word (and the ones before that one word do not count)

    lovely

    July 8, 2010
  12. lookitsbray #

    Now that’s the way to complete the blog!!! 😮

    July 8, 2010
  13. mannandersen #

    It’s a fact, I almost didn’t notice the underwaterpicture of the delightful hips & boobs, I underline ALMOST.

    I loved the words, the thougts and the writing.

    I’ve been in your blog for quite a while Silvia 😉

    July 8, 2010
  14. this is such a gorgeous description! i’m hoping to make it abroad next summer, so maybe this is something that i’ll get to experience myself 🙂

    July 8, 2010
    • we will wait for you, cali, even though this is something one may experience in any corner of the world
      *BIG HUG*

      July 8, 2010
  15. I found you through Absence of Alternatives. Wow! What a beautiful post! You’ve inspired me to write better erotica.

    July 9, 2010
    • Welcome Juliana 😉
      Erotica is something l’d like to push a little but l may need a “push” to do…
      Maybe l just need to let go and really do it!
      🙂

      July 10, 2010
  16. Beautiful. The words, I mean 😉

    July 13, 2010
  17. You had me at naked picture…. wolf.

    July 13, 2010
  18. @ dennisfinocchiaro
    @ atomicgator

    the picture was never noticed, l know 😉

    July 13, 2010
  19. Nice informative and useful content . You have good command on the post and have explained in a very nice way. Thanks for sharing.Nice work,hope your blog be better!I just want to make a blog like this!

    July 4, 2011
  20. Namaz “spam” Dualari – Not only that, it may be Qur’an spam.

    July 5, 2011

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