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green wedding

In between the ceremony and the reception, she places carefully her white shoes on the green couch and then she lies down on the nuptial bed. She is incredibly weak, and the intense medication makes her feet swollen, and standing on heels during the ceremony puts a toll on her feet. He looks at her and follows her eyes when her eyes wander toward the pitch of ice-cold lemon water.

She always loved the sea. She used to take him for long walks on the sand and she would love to skip the breaking waves reaching the shore. “My heart skips a beat when l look at you” he said once. She asked him if a feeling could be physically stored; then he decided to store all his feelings for her in little notes and display them in glass bottles for all to enjoy in their wedding day. This wedding –this green wedding he has been pulling together all by himself, all out of his love for her.

Green is hope –and hope is the only thing he hopes for.

Her stomach requires special food after weeks of intense chemotherapy, but since she loves soy burgers, light vegetarian canapés are served – so light and delicate but she feels nauseated enough to refuse to eat. Nauseated enough that agrees to some outdoor pictures just with the condition that her tired and thin face doesn’t show up.

He hopes with all his heart that they will survive the curse of this bitter and ruthless sickness, he says on his vows, and snatches a smile on everybody when instead of a soft, while pillow he presents the wedding rings on green bitter limes.

He lies spooning her, and he spoons her tight, and a gentle breeze surrounds the room through the open-wide balcony doors. She turns her head and smiles weakly at him while they entangle their fingers in a knot –fingers wearing one more invisible knot made official now by their rings.

“How little water do you think they need to survive?” she asks him pointing the desert indoors plants. “How far do you think they can go on basically nothing?” when he turns her head to kiss her, his fingers feel wet around her eyes. “Far” he kisses her, “so strong, they survive anything and everything” he pauses “ just a little water, just a little hope, and see how beautiful and green there are”.

She contemplates the pale green shade of the leaves and she knows she is as pale as the pale shade of leaves and she wonders silently how far can she also go, on little hope. So she closes her eyes for the last time with that thought on her mind, with his hand entangled on her fingers, and with his tears kissing her neck…

Light breeze dances through the nuptial table. Time lies still and nothing moves. Today, the glasses will remain empty, the napkins will remain clean and the candles will remain unlit.

Light breeze leaves as it entered -this time stealing the remains of any green hope.

15 Comments Post a comment
  1. oh geeze…
    *tearing up*
    *sniff*
    this hits so close to home for me. it’s beautiful and sad.

    thank you for sharing!

    August 3, 2010
    • thanks cali,
      a challenge to turn something apparently “happy” to a whole different story. A challenge to “percieve” a situation pre-set on our minds and transform it…

      glad it touch you -but then again, maybe not.

      *MASIVHUG*

      August 3, 2010
  2. MT #

    Så nydelig Silvia,nydelig,vàrt og sårt.Og håpefullt.Hjertespråket er det,håpefullt og varmt.

    Marieklem

    August 3, 2010
    • takk marie… de sier at “hope is the last we loose”, men av og til… det er ikke nøk.

      *KLEM*

      August 3, 2010
  3. Goddammit Silvia you always make me cry these days. I loved it..what a beautiful and sad little story. 😦 xoxoxoxoxo

    August 4, 2010
    • l am glad that it touched you, but not good that made you cry – or it is good?
      *Bourbonshottoburysorrows*

      August 4, 2010
  4. MT #

    Eg veit Silvia…
    ..og det er vanskeleg.
    Ein må av og til endre håpet om….til håpet om noko anna…slik at håpet kan bære ein gjennom,sjølv om det ikkje kjennest ut som om det er nok.

    Det er ikkje enkelt å snakke om håp over blogg,formidle det eg meiner og kjenner på.
    Eg er ei dame med eit sterkt håp:)

    Godnattklem

    August 4, 2010
    • Håpet er en fantastisk følelse som kan hjelpe oss til å oppnå flere ting som vi ellers ville det ikke. Jeg er en kvinne av håp som deg, marie, jeg er mest fordi jeg en åndelig person.

      Det verste er når tross for hvor mye håper vi har, livet treff oss med smerte og skuffelse – for eksempel en sykdom eller et dødsfall.

      Sånn er det, med livet.
      🙂

      August 4, 2010
  5. and good morning to you too…. lovely though. will have to go read the news now to cheer me up

    August 4, 2010
  6. ugh i felt this one in the gut. beautifully told heart-breaker. awesome photos, too.

    August 4, 2010
  7. MT #

    Ja,sjukdom og død kan føre til at det sterke håpet ein er i besittelse av bleiknar.Hos nokre døyr håpet også.

    Eg tenkjer at hjertespråket menneske imellom,-familie,kjærast eller venner,-kanskje kan bidra til å halde oppe håpet når ein sjølv kjenner ein misser det.

    Sorg og motgang gjer noko med oss.For meg har håpet vore ei drivkraft.Eg,som du,er ein åndeleg person.

    Marieklem

    August 5, 2010
    • “Eg tenkjer at hjertespråket menneske imellom,-familie,kjærast eller venner,-kanskje kan bidra til å halde oppe håpet når ein sjølv kjenner ein misser det.”

      right on the spot.

      jaaa… uff.

      August 5, 2010
  8. Scott P. #

    If I had half the imagination that you have, I’d be happy. Keep pouring.

    August 5, 2010
    • Everybody has imagination, Scott… some listen to it and wonder…
      Besides, l have heard you singing and playing guitar… 🙂

      August 5, 2010
  9. There should be a law: you are not allowed to lure us in and then sock it to us with such a gently revealed tragic ending.

    … … …

    August 11, 2010

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