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now

You are drowning.

The last thing your eyes see is her, down on her knees, palms against the bubble, crying -her lips mocking a constant

“NOOOO…
…NOOOO!!!”

You are drowning.

But just as you close your eyes and welcome the embrace of the monster, something on the back of your mind – a defense mechanism, puts you on alert. Your body tenses, you grab hard the monster’s wrists and pull them down as you pull your body up.

Listen.

You grasp for air as every single nerve in your body concentrates, pays attention – on listening what she is saying.

She didn’t say NO.

She said NOW.

Now.

Now it’s not time to let go -you understand that you need to keep fighting. You understand that you will taste blood for some time to remind you to keep fighting. You understand that there is always help to be found, so you need to keep fighting.

When you open your eyes again, you are in a bathtub full of warm water. You peek above the the edge of the tub towards the bedroom and you don’t see any blood. You see her, though, inside of the bubble, laying on her side, sleeping.

Peace.

Your mouth tastes blood still, but you are now cleaning yourself.

You breath slow, deeply, and let your body float.

4 Comments Post a comment
  1. *sigh* relief is sweet 🙂

    September 16, 2010
  2. beautifully written. not a cheer me up post is it?

    September 17, 2010
  3. Hold tight to the edge. Keep breathing. It will pass.

    September 18, 2010

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