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annoying people

In the event there is somebody that by reading this gets identified with and, by default, offended, allow me to repeat the last words Rhett Butler told Scarlett O’Hara:

Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn”

I was raised learning respect for others, and at the same time, learning not to lie. We try to go through life respecting others and not lying, but as we grow older, the whole thing gets more complicated. As we grow older, our interactions with others become more complex, and at the same time, more selective. And these interactions may be corresponded or not. For example, you may find people who likes but you may not like, and you may like people who may not like you.

So how can you apply honesty and politeness at the same time when that honesty involves something nasty on what you have to say?

Lets say, before, non-verbal communication or simply a fast rumor through third parties was enough to clarify where you did stand in an explicit group. Today, in a virtual environment where you actually are able to have friends whom you have never been in physical contact with, does it get easier or more complicated?

Thing is, lately I find myself really irritated with certain kind of people. People who are all over the place, who at first sight, you would think they are nice, because they shower you with compliments – and sure, everybody likes compliments – but when you least expected, they wait in every single corner for you find them there, and they get to be so annoying it feels like leaches. This is needy people with an agenda, people that look naive, but may be sharper that a kitchen knife – calling for attention in a subtle manner, interfering and collecting and sharing thoughts all over. These people will do anything to be in the loop, to be one of something, to be mentioned – and when you mention them, and maybe not in a good way, they show you their sheep eyes with a “me? But, I just did nothing but being nice…”

I know I suck at lying, so I don’t, but if I ever, for whatever reason, lied – you would absolutely know in a nano-second. So, what do I do? Do I confront these people? Don’t I? I know I am a polite person, but I am honest and have no problem speaking my mind out. I am kind and patient, but at the same time I may blow if bullshit starts reaching my toes. I am well aware also, that sarcasm is my second language; so do I keep using sarcasm until they get it? Do I just blurt it out?

I have the feeling it wouldn’t make a difference, anyway.

19 Comments Post a comment
  1. LOL!! Can I steal this? I swear I am going through this same shit right now! If you need me, you know where to find me…I’m not gonna stalk you… 😉

    October 1, 2010
    • he he he… you know l adore you, Gadge.
      And by all means, take it if you want 🙂

      October 1, 2010
  2. Oh dear. I am confrontation averse even if I want to seem all badass… I just believe what goes around comes around too much and therefore I tend to let Karma do her job. (Total cop out, I know. Sorry…) Do you have to be around these people? Can you conveniently ignore them? Yeah, like what the poster suggests… However, if they are spreading rumors, I’d be furious and nip it in the bud. I absolutely hate gossips. They ruin lives.

    October 1, 2010
    • When it comes to karma, l am fan nr 1, l totally agree with you. But when it comes to these people, l really think karma gave up a looooooong time ago.

      l also do my best to ignore them. Thing is, they dont hang around me directly – mostly because l removed them from my closest circle – but they hover right around the people closest to me, interfering in our conversations, and just showing their pittyness.

      October 1, 2010
  3. AttentionSister #

    Fantastic Sivlia!

    Blurt it out. Use sarcasme or just – print it:) You do everything equally wonderful!

    October 1, 2010
  4. such passive-aggressive behavior. they need to be dealt with head-on. they won’t get any subtleties.

    October 1, 2010
  5. Arthur Park #

    It’s not like I believe you need a hug or anything, but goddammit I love you, sweetheart!

    Your post is to the point, honest – straight forward. I sometimes say that freedom of speech is a right, not a duty, and I get a feel of this post and think that it doesn’t matter. As always, you do this with elegance and nerve – your reader can sence your feelings as you wrote this.

    You cannot “arrest” a “good” person, even if you experience them as a fly chasing the jam on your sandwich, following it to your mouth, tickeling your corners.

    :-*

    October 1, 2010
    • OH Vanilla is always a sucker for hugs -or “anything” and more, more, more if they come from my AttentionWhore 😉

      YOU more than anybody knows; you more than anybody shares -somehow- the feeling. Things get trickier, like I said, when these people dont affect you directly, but through somebody you love. And if you dont know 100% what is the pull-push relationship in between those parties, is difficult taking action and running the risk to be in a ridiculous situation.

      Anyway, l am not the one to arrest any “good” person – who defined them as “good” anyway? I just want this fly not to shit on my sandwich.

      October 1, 2010
  6. this explains why we get along so well (unless of course I’m one of the people you are talking about, in which case, i don’t like you either)

    when I was moving to holland all my dutch friends would say “the Dutch are blunt and straight forward. You’ll fit right in”

    and darn proud of it. It’s just the way I am, love me or leave me, we are both too busy to play footsie (or whatever the expression is), and actually, in aid, where people thought I would be a disaster, (meeting with donors, beneficiaries…. all walks), people love me *because* they are so sick of hearing bs, they appreciate that I call it like it is.

    Honesty with a smile and good intentions 🙂

    October 1, 2010
    • No Angelica, by any meaning you are one of those people… at all.
      And yes, I digg that straigh-forwardness on you big time – par of our background, do you think? 😉

      BTW… mooving l read? fancying Norway?
      that would be something!
      🙂

      October 1, 2010
  7. MT #

    Heisann Silvia,
    I den virituelle verda møtest mange og delar av eins liv kjem fram gjennom ord som vert formidla.
    Som du påpeikar manglar det non-verbale språket her inne og dermed misser vi eit viktig og utfyllande språk,det som bekreftar eller avkreftar orda som vert sagt.
    Noko anna som også manglar er tonefallet som fylgjer dei skrivne orda.Korleis skal eg eller du vite om det ligg varme eller sarkasme bak om ein ikkje kjenner personen bak orda godt?

    Eg trur at om ein leitar etter mistru hos einannan,ja så finn ein det.Dersom ein først har begynnt å irritere seg over ein annan,ja så vil ein “lese” alt med irriterte briller.

    Respekt og ærlegheit er gode lærdommar å få med seg og dei kan kombinerast på ein fin måte også i denne verda.
    Alle som kommenterar har mailadresse you know 🙂

    Marieklem i kvelden

    October 1, 2010
    • Det var en kjempe kommentar, Marie, men jeg er ikke helt enig med deg.

      Ja, alle har en mailadresse, og ja, jeg vet hvem denne personen er, og denne personen vet hvem jeg er. Denne personen vet hvordan jeg føler, og i stedet for å spørre meg direkte, har gått rundt.

      i denne virtuelle verden, vi betro på den måte vi skriver for å kommunisere til hverandre. En person som blogger, som kommenterer på andre blogger, som er på Facebook, Twitter osv. betyr at er relativt god på å skrive. Skrevet sarkasme er et språk alle kan forstå – uansett hvor kommer fra.

      Å se alt med irriterende briller?

      hvis jeg leser noe som en kritikk til meg, eller noe som jeg kan mistolke, jeg spør umiddelbart så jeg forstår og klare ting opp. Jeg tar det direkte og ikke gå rundt å spørre her og der.

      Marie, vi alle kommer i forskjellige former og farger, og er det veldig naiv å tro at vi alle kan trives med hverandre og være venner. Det er folk som vi liker mer, det er mennesker vi ikke liker så mye.

      Denne person, jeg liker ikke. Sånn er det.

      October 2, 2010
      • MT #

        Hei igjen
        Heldigvis kjem vi i ulike formar og fargar ,slik vert der nokon for einkvar.Sjølvsagt er det ikkje alle ein skal verte venner med,ei heller vere nøydd til å forhalde seg til.
        Eg tenkjer berre at ein kan velge om det skal ta stor plass i eins liv,eller ei,ein person ein ikkje likar.

        Så kan det no vere mange grunnar for og grader av at ein mislikar ein person…..Truar h*n eins eigen situasjon reelt, eller triggar h*n noko i ein sjølv…

        Den virituelle verda har mange utfordringar,på godt og vondt.
        Tvi tvi med å finne ei god løysing på dette Silvia.
        Marieklem

        October 2, 2010
  8. I have such a low tolerance for the random bullshit of the flingers. The ones who like to stand on the edge and just fling mud occasionally, hoping to stain someone else because they have little of substance to offer. I tend, in case you couldn’t have guessed, to be very forward with these people once I have truly identified them for what they are. I am very kind-hearted, I am often told too much so. But if you hurt those I love with rumors or lies, belittle my friendships and dedication, I am like a bull, and I will run over you with a ferocity not to be forgotten.

    October 1, 2010
    • “hoping to stain someone else because they have little of substance to offer.” that I totally underline…
      And I aid it before… you could be my twin sister…

      October 2, 2010
  9. You’re SSL: Sarcasm Second Language. They’d have to give you all sorts of scholarships nowadays if you were applying for college because of your special needs. I too am SSL and didn’t realize all the free stuff I must have missed out on as I went through the educational system.

    October 8, 2010

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