it has gone through different stages.
at the beginning she got pretty irritated. when she came home from work, she needed to unplug and chill, so when the phone started ringing and she didn’t hear anybody on the other side, she got pissed. the phone rang and when she picked up, she heard nothing. it wasnt that the line went death, is just that the other side of the receiver kept quiet.
same time of the day, every day.
she didn’t hear anything, so she usually hanged up.
same time of the day, every day.
some days she was angry and she yelled; some days she was sad and cried. some days she was in a good mood and she hold the phone for a bit until she carried on with her own things.
then one particular day, when she was feeling her worst, down and lonely, she heard.
that particular day she started paying attention for the first time and she heard what she thought it was a male breathing on the other side of the receiver.
her heart raced “hello?…” “hello?…” “hi… are you there?… who are you?…”
she tried again, once, twice, a third time. she got pissed. she was trying to make an effort and he was ignoring her. no, he was laughing at her. she hanged up. “what the hell he thinks he is…” she told herself… she wasn’t over with the though, the phone rang again. “hello?…” she tried again.
she just wanted to make contact.
not a sound more that the breathing.
she hanged up again, unplug the phone furiously and run to the kitchen to pour herself a drink. “that will show him…” she mumble.
as she was licking the last drop of her last drink, she felt an intense restlessness sinking. it was nearly bed time and she now felt totally off. she decided to plug the phone again but she realized she had done that already 2 hours ago. wait. he hadn’t call again…
the whiskey lead her to a bad night sleep and into a guilty-full day. she sailed the day full of remorse and when she got home, with the keys still on her hands, she picked up a ringing phone, and said on a soft, begging voice “l am sorry…l am so sorry”. seconds went by and she began to hear breathing again. relief, and since a long time, a sense of happiness. she stayed on the phone while she was carrying on her routines. she worked out on her treadmill stopping now and then to make sure she could hear the breathing again. showered, took a snack and when to bed. she never said a word, never, her was no need for that, their hearts breathing had their own conversation.
she just listened
he did too
a smile on her face said an invisible good night. next morning, when she woke up, she couldn’t hear anything, but that was ok. she knew it was ok; because now she wasn’t alone anymore. as the days went by she left work earlier and earlier. the moment she stepped into the house the phone rang. and every night she felt asleep with the phone between her ear and the pillow. she did her things, eat, clean, dress, masturbate… always with the phone on her ear, always with her.
one day she woke up and wishing she could still hear the breathing in the morning. she wasn’t finish precessing that though, the phone rang. “he is there for me…” she smiled in wonder “… mine, he is mine, here to make me happy, to please me…” ecstasy, she was pure ecstasy of happiness… now her life had a meaning, a purpose… now she was happy.
she called in sick, and stayed all day on the phone. repeated the same operation the next day, and the next day, and the one after that. at the end, she lost count of the days she hadn’t been at work, she refused to get out of the house, to go out and buy food, to be social with her friends, to fuck the occasional lover she fuck once in a while.
one day, while both hands were pleasing her senses, he heard a click on the phone laying on the pillow nest to her.
And just like that, he was gone
he was just gone
she waited, and waited, and waited… the dial tone never changed.
he was gone
days went by, weeks… madness became her reality, she didn’t know anything else by now. she forgot what was day and what was night. she forgot to eat, to shower, to sleep. that breathing on the other side of the line was her only purpose in life (or whatever was left of it). his breathing was her air, her existence, her madness. she got angry, desperate, she beg, she prayed to every known religion, she ask gods and demons to bring him back. everything around her was chaos. the house was chaos, her soul was chaos.
he was gone
weakness began to take power over her body as she couldn’t remember the last time she ate. slowly, life began taking a journey away from her body despite her soul was strong, and felt as passionate as the day she finally made contact, and as desperate as the day she lost it.
her body collapsed on a Wednesday. it went down on a slow motion; her body crumbling on top of a pile of un-open mail, unstoppable. “no… no” she mumbled to herself. she couldn’t go like that, not like that. laying on the floor, completely still with her arms stretched along her body, unforgiving tears flowed down from her face. she softly cried, in silence, she cried with a sadness she has never experienced before. And it was just before the last breath abandoned her being, she manage to say surprisingly loud and clear
“l love you…”
“l love you, l love you l love you…”
and just like that, she was gone
she was gone too
her face rested on the pail of un-open mail. the last tear rolled down from her chick and made a little noise when splashed the envelope. slowly the ink began to run until the logo on it became unreadable.
the logo of the phone company.
inside, a letter carrying a legal statement:
after several unresponded notifications, service was being shut down.