I hear the rain
I am ready.
I am getting ready to go to bed and in my room I hear the rain pounding outside. I mean, when it rains here, it really rains. I am looking forward showering, landing in bed and unplug under clean crispy sheets. LittleDumbass is so sneaky I didn’t even see him getting into my bed and now he sleeps peacefully. In my bedroom, on the loft, the rain sounds harder and I make a mental calculus of what day it is, and when spring is supposed to arrive, because I am ready to better days, to lighter days.
My math dyslexia slows the process some and realize that it is February, nearly March, and so far the year sucks and I am so ready for a better continuation of the present year. No. I don’t like to be moping around so people feel pity for me. I am not that kind of woman, nor I need sympathy from anyone, but on my way to the shower – plenty of time, I am still calculating in my head- I remember that my horoscope has pretty much fucked up the predictions for the year.
“- Hello, my name is Silvia and I read horoscopes.”
“- Hello, Silvia.”
Because the horoscope announced a wonderful year ahead, pretty much the best ever, and while I am stressing to figure how much of the year we have gone through and how much of the year still has to come, I do a recount (I am finished with the previous math exercise, now entering a new one) and I calculate:
I started the year alone: I got sick; MissAttitude got sick; LittleDumbass got sick; I got sick again ending up with a lung infection; I keep getting shits loads of work, impetuous and demanding; I have gained 2 kilos; I felt pretty badly down the stairs and Boyfriend and I broke up.
And on top of everything, the weather sucks. And it is just February.
LittleDumbass snores, I look at him as he snores, and I know it´s not gonna be a peaceful night, at least not for me – but he snores because he has peace, and I figure I will have peace, also, eventually, and I look at him and I smile and look forward to the lighter and easier that may come this year. And if they don´t, I always can keep looking at my kids sleeping.
Did I say I am ready?